i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
