We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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