How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
