i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
