Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
