I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
