Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
