I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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