Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
