i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
