Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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