I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
