State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She's the barista slut.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize