If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
