put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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