You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
