I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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