Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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