Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
