I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
