Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you didnt know i had herpes?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
