ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
