idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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