I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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