my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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