I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
what day is it and did you see me today?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize