did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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