You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
