i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Enjoy the penises
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
