There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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