mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
