remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
