I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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