So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
