I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
