Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
the liver wants what the liver wants
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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