Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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