Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
