I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
