Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize