No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
