Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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