Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
