drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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