The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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