everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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