So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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