I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
