And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
