Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
