There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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