I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
