they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
