I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
