love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
