I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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