Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
