when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
