new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
