i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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