Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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