she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
