he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
